goodbye

Hello Friends..............
I think I am retiring the site. Not out of blogging......I think I am jumping ship to Xanga. I'll post some stuff on this site here. Tell me what you think.....

Peace Like A River

What I'm Reading.....

If you have never read this book....do yourself a favor and pick it up. It's quite amazing. It's a little A River Runs Through It and a little Big Fish. The characters are vivid and well-drawn, and the most miraculous thing about it....you care about them right away. I honestly don't know how he did it, but there is no space between you and the page, it completely pulls you in. Just read it, you will thank me later.

Now on to other things.

Thank You.

Thanks for all of your encouraging words regarding my last post. I won't lie to you.....it's been a difficult couple of weeks. Kristin and I are trying our best to get to Waco as soon as possible, and it's just not happening. We did find out something good.....our landlady said that we would not be penalized for breaking our lease if the house is rented before we leave......that's good news. Now it's just getting there.

I have been thinking a lot about sacrifice lately. Kristin has sacrificed a lot by being the main bacon bringer, and it's my turn now. So what will I have to sacrifice?

That's actually a question.....because I just don't know. I say I am willing to do anything (as a career choice) but yet, I don't have a job waiting for me. The latest idea is to teach. It's something that I think I could do, and do well, but it is going to cost more money (to get certified and all that jazz). So I still covet your prayers......

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In Peace Like A River the narrator, an asthmatic boy named Reuben, tells us something that his sister will write "years later." She writes, "Once torched by truth a little thing like faith is easy." I am trying to come to grips with that statement. It sounds so poignant and telling.....yet it's meaning escapes me.

Why?

Because I see being "torched by truth" as an unequivocal moment that defies all subtlety and ambiguity. Being "torched by truth" is equivalent to the lips of God whispering in our ears. Like:

"your friend is gone....all you have left are your memories....."

Yet, my faith has been rocked. To the core. I still wonder why.....and cry why not me? Faith is not easy, faith is hard. Especially in light of tragedy. We can't make sense of the wickedness of the world, or of the seemingly senseless life that we live while others die. We can only hand over our insecurities and selfishness to our Creator.

In the appendix of (Re)Understanding Prayer Kyle gives us a sample of some Historical Prayers. This one is one of my favorite:

Calm my troubled heart; give me peace. O Lord, calm the waves of this heart, calm its tempests! Calm thyself, O my soul, so that the divine can act in thee! Calm thyself, O my soul, so that God is able to repose in thee, so that his peace may cover thee! Yes, Father in heaven, often have we found that the world cannot give us peace, but makes us feel that thou art able to give peace; let us know the truth of they promise: that the whole world may not be able to take away thy peace.

~Soren Kierkegaard

Tired.......

So...I turn 32 this upcoming Tuesday.
No big deal, right?
It's not that I am getting "older."
Or that I am not as fit as I once was (getting a little soft, I must admit).
It's that I am tired.
Mentally, spiritually, physically........

I honestly don't know what to do to make myself wake up.

After Kyle died, It seemed as if the motivation came back.
To do something great and be a better person.
To live up to the expectations that he had for me.
He expected so much from all of us.
To be Christ Followers in our little corner of the world.
Well.....I think I painted myself into that corner.

We're planning on making our way back to Waco.....and that's a good thing.
Our family of friends is incredibly important to us.....especially now.
But getting there is becoming a problem.
We need to get there soon, because Phoenix is way too costly.
I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.......
I'm expected to figure that out now....after 10 years of flailing about.....and I do need to "figure it out."
I just don't know how......I don't want to keep on making minor adjustments in my employment, without figuring out what the major overhaul needs to be........I'm here again.
And I'm tired.
Thanks for your prayers........we need them.

Greatest Game....Ever?

My computer won't allow me to show you a picture......so let me paint one for you.
Inches.
Two inches to be exact.
Two inches are what separated USC and their Third National Championship in Three Years......
All my Texas friends will tell you that their Longhorns defeated my Men of Troy.
I would have to disagree......the Longhorns did not disassemble the Trojans.
Vince Young did that all by himself.
I am not upset....how could you be?
It was an incredible game!
Back and forth.....both offenses seemed to be on track.....both defenses had some hiccups and some great plays as well.
I told a friend of mine yesterday...before the game....that if it came down to a shootout, the last person with the ball would win it.
I was right.
Unfortunately.
So........greatest game ever?
Yeah probably......
But Bowl games and National Championships aside.......the greatest game that I have ever attended was in my sophomore year at Baylor.
Yes Baylor.
Baylor upended Fresno State and their lauded quarterback Trent Dilfer (he of the Nat'l Champ. Ravens of a few years ago) by the score of 42-39.
Now that......my dear friends......was a great game.