My Wife and I had an argument last week......and we argued well.

When the dust settled and everything was said that could be said we looked at each other differently.

Don't worry, it was a good different.

It was the kind of look that let you know that there was nothing left to fester.

Nothing pulled back or unsaid.

Not even an ounce of animosity or anger.

No resentment or regret.

Only catharsis and healing.

It was pure and good and hard and painful.

Because sometimes you have to say that thing that you think you shouldn't say.

You have to voice the inner thoughts that you've edited from previous conversations.

Because in the end you're in it together and the cliche' is certainly true.

There is no "I" in team!

No not that cliche'.

Teamwork makes the dream work.

Not that one either, but that is my new favorite cheesy motivational saying.

The one that I am thinking of might not even be a cliche'.

It's more like........

It takes two to make a marriage work, but only one to make it fall apart.

So, my encouragement to my married friends out there:

When you argue with your spouse, argue well.

Because the highest highs and the lowest lows can not take away the greatest gift God has given you.

Each other.

Love First

"Jesus said, 'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them."
Matthew 22. 37-40 The Message
I get really pissed off when good Christians say stupid, mean stuff that they think is helpful when it's really not. I could go into multiple examples, but I am afraid I would get emotional and angry and well......that's not good for my complexion.
The balancing act that needs to be perfected is the one that teeters between loving your neighbor and being able to speak the truth. The problem is that most Christians forget that even while we are expected to speak the truth....it must be done in love.
Speaking the truth in Love.
It may sound cliche', but when we realize that more feelings are hurt and relationships damaged from self-serving acts of verbal terrorism we might actually think before we speak.
Didn't your mother ever tell you to do that? It's pretty good advice.
The scripture says that God' law pegs on the two statements: Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence, and Love others as well as yourself.
When I read that it tells me that even God's law must flow from a place of love. Which, on HIS part, I don't think there is any debate. The question rises when we as Christians feel it is our responsibility to become some sort of moral policing agent that passes judgment on other people because of their own interpretation of God's law.

In Searching For God Knows What Donald Miller states:
Growing up in a small conservative church in the South, you hear

more about morality than you do about Christ. If you were immoral,

if you danced, drank, or cussed, you were made to feel that God no

longer liked you. And if you were moral, you were made to feel not

one with Christ, but right and good and better than other people....

While morality is not the issue necessarily, the issue that is the motivation behind this post today not being specifically stated (I may be more explicit some time soon), the meaning that I hope to extract from Miller's excerpt is to say that we often say things out of a very one-sided bad interpretation of the Gospel that has more to do with our own version of the Truth than Christ's commandment to love.

Here's to following Christ......

forgetful

Hello......I thought about it and decided not to retire the site......funny thing is, I forgot why I got a Xanga account in the first place!
It was to post a comment on a friend's site!!
I remember being initially perturbed that I had to be a Xangan to comment on a Xanga site.
Anyhow......I'll keep this one, but I might move things around a bit.
I guess I just got restless.....wanting something new.
I will probably keep the Xanga site......who knows?
Thanks Cory for the heads up.....you're right! (Besides, Kristin agreed with you.)

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Speaking of my friend Joell......she asked me why I thought she had a gift. Read the Monday, Feb. 20 post on her site. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. It can be very hard to open yourself up to old wounds and hurts. She has done it so eloquently and effortlessly.
I am encouraged by her ability to be transparent.
She and I have had a mini-discussion going on about dealing with grief.
Her post has inspired me to write something about losing my mom.

I might do it sometime soon.....Her birthday is coming up. I might wait to do it then.

goodbye

Hello Friends..............
I think I am retiring the site. Not out of blogging......I think I am jumping ship to Xanga. I'll post some stuff on this site here. Tell me what you think.....

Peace Like A River

What I'm Reading.....

If you have never read this book....do yourself a favor and pick it up. It's quite amazing. It's a little A River Runs Through It and a little Big Fish. The characters are vivid and well-drawn, and the most miraculous thing about it....you care about them right away. I honestly don't know how he did it, but there is no space between you and the page, it completely pulls you in. Just read it, you will thank me later.

Now on to other things.

Thank You.

Thanks for all of your encouraging words regarding my last post. I won't lie to you.....it's been a difficult couple of weeks. Kristin and I are trying our best to get to Waco as soon as possible, and it's just not happening. We did find out something good.....our landlady said that we would not be penalized for breaking our lease if the house is rented before we leave......that's good news. Now it's just getting there.

I have been thinking a lot about sacrifice lately. Kristin has sacrificed a lot by being the main bacon bringer, and it's my turn now. So what will I have to sacrifice?

That's actually a question.....because I just don't know. I say I am willing to do anything (as a career choice) but yet, I don't have a job waiting for me. The latest idea is to teach. It's something that I think I could do, and do well, but it is going to cost more money (to get certified and all that jazz). So I still covet your prayers......

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In Peace Like A River the narrator, an asthmatic boy named Reuben, tells us something that his sister will write "years later." She writes, "Once torched by truth a little thing like faith is easy." I am trying to come to grips with that statement. It sounds so poignant and telling.....yet it's meaning escapes me.

Why?

Because I see being "torched by truth" as an unequivocal moment that defies all subtlety and ambiguity. Being "torched by truth" is equivalent to the lips of God whispering in our ears. Like:

"your friend is gone....all you have left are your memories....."

Yet, my faith has been rocked. To the core. I still wonder why.....and cry why not me? Faith is not easy, faith is hard. Especially in light of tragedy. We can't make sense of the wickedness of the world, or of the seemingly senseless life that we live while others die. We can only hand over our insecurities and selfishness to our Creator.

In the appendix of (Re)Understanding Prayer Kyle gives us a sample of some Historical Prayers. This one is one of my favorite:

Calm my troubled heart; give me peace. O Lord, calm the waves of this heart, calm its tempests! Calm thyself, O my soul, so that the divine can act in thee! Calm thyself, O my soul, so that God is able to repose in thee, so that his peace may cover thee! Yes, Father in heaven, often have we found that the world cannot give us peace, but makes us feel that thou art able to give peace; let us know the truth of they promise: that the whole world may not be able to take away thy peace.

~Soren Kierkegaard