In light of what has happened I have laid aside all of my foolish habits of laziness and procrastination. Well, we'll see if it sticks. I have to be honest with myself.
That's been the issue lately.
Honesty.
Like my friend Adam said on his blog....
I lost my friend, my pastor, my spiritual mentor, and my rabbi.
I should have been there last week.
Not because I could have done anything for him.....nothing would have changed.
But that Church, my Church, needed all the love and help and support they needed and I wasn't there. I got there as fast as I could, but I wasn't there.
I need to be honest with myself.
I have been running.
Not away from God, I don't think.
But in circles.
And when Kyle passed something snapped inside.
I can't remember a single excuse that I ever made to not be in the ministry.
Whether or not that ever becomes my vocation....God only knows(Beach Boys lyric, not my personal theology speaking)
I just know that there is only one place in the world where my wife and I want to be right now.....and that's Waco, TX.
Imagine that.
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The stuff that pulls at me.
2 comments:
Michael:
You aren't crazy, you are homesick for family, and UBC is definitely family for you and Kristin. I know it is hard, and I pray for you regularly. I miss Waco, too, but not the same way as you do. I miss you, my brother, and the wonderful talks we had. May God hear your cry and heal the wounds! I love you guys.
Leo
Michael,
Hey My Friend!
Not to be trite, but home is where the heart is and your heart is with your church family at UBC.
I know from living a bit of a distance from my family, that it's not too bad...until someone gets sick, or has surgery, or dies. You just want to be there! Not that you can "do" anything about what happened. But, as one friend refers to it to carry out " the ministry of presence."
I saw the story of Kyle's death on the news and I immediately thought,
" This is Michael and Kristen's Pastor and Friend." I began to pray for Kyle's family and friends.
We will keep on praying and believing, that even in this tragic event and the loss everyone feels, that God will somehow bring beauty for ashes.
He is so very faithful!
You know Jerry and I moved from Gville to Denton...thinking that the Dallas area was home. But after time passed, and circumstances occurred...we actually realized that Gville was home after all. God works in some pretty interesting ways!
I'm very thankful to know that you are back to blogging. I have missed my Pastor, my Teacher, my Friend.
(Quit making that face!)
Blessings to You and Kristin!
Teresa
11.7.05
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