baptism

there is a bottom to my grief

i've been there many times

where the only thing i can do

is look up and see the light

i'm not a porcelain china doll

with a smile plastered to my face

i have experienced enough sorrow

to realize the miracle of grace

the rhythmic ache of my guilt

reminds me of what i am not

not worthy, not happy, not finished

not taking note of what i've got

yet the hope that belies all reason

is the thing to which i hold

not because it's what i'm supposed to feel

nor because it's what i've been told

but rather it's the cause of years

of prayers, and protestations too

of questions unanswered and lives unfinished

the mysteries of life to push through

so, finally, i bid farewell

to the old me and the old you

to all the excuses and secondhand curses

only to be made anew.

Because of You I am made anew.

~mse