Hey guys........
thought I would write today, but I couldn't muster up enough energy to continue the story......I am still pondering a title for it, any ideas?
Work was strange today.
A bit "out of body" if I was to try to describe it.
I felt like crap all day and it doesn't help that I am now answering to somebody I trained who has no common sense.....frustrating at the least.
Leo?
Are you out there?
I understand now!
Anyway......off my chest!
I am so looking forward to moving to Phoenix.
As I was daydreaming the other day about it something occured to me.
The places we inhabit inform and shape our personalities, spiritualities and realities.
Seems obvious right?
I just think about how I grew up in the lazy Californian sun....and I realize what it means to be a Californian. Laid-back. Easy. Thoughtful. Adventurous.
My time in Texas has passed by slowly. Almost ten years in the Lone Star State and I think I understand what it means to be a Texan. Independent. Confident. Brash.
So now I look ahead to Arizona.
I wonder what the state will do to me.
I eagerly anticipate the person I will become.
Knowing full well that my previous haunts not only create the foundation for what happens next, but also, unforgivingly, hold me tight....never letting go.
Blessings on your way.....
21.2.05
20.2.05
after these messages....
Okay....so I'm no John Grisham.
I don't know. I am having fun. It may seem dark, but I think that there is something truthful going on here.
As I ponder a title........
how does good turn bad?
how does Spring (symbolic of new life) sour?
what mistakes have we made that could turn our lives upside down?
think of these things....
I don't know. I am having fun. It may seem dark, but I think that there is something truthful going on here.
As I ponder a title........
how does good turn bad?
how does Spring (symbolic of new life) sour?
what mistakes have we made that could turn our lives upside down?
think of these things....
something new.....part 2
Later that day.....somewhere south of Tijuana, Mexico
Mason Thomas squinted out onto the beach watching the waves ebb and flow and wondered how long it would take for the average 30 year old to drown. If they were unencumbered, say.... without two ten-gallon buckets of hardened concrete affixed to the ankles, it would probably take at least fifteen or twenty minutes. First you pass out from the lack of oxygen. Then your throat and mouth relax just enough to take a big-gulp of salty ocean water. Finally you stop breathing, because you're not a fish...and then you die. The most peaceful way to die, quite possibly.
Mason nodded, with shot glass in hand, threw back the tequila and chased it with a beer. Some crappy mexican beer that was more water than hops. He shook it off, slapped some money on the cabana bar, and walked towards his Jeep.
For a moment he thought of running out into the sea and pulling the poor guy out, but he shook that off as well, hopped into the Jeep and headed north towards San Diego.
He had some business to conduct there as well.
~~~~~~~
Mason Thomas had not always been an evil man.
But the lessons that Grandma Kate "laid into him" on a daily basis didn't seem to stick. Growing up in a rural, religious household in the hill country of Texas did more harm than good, many people would later say.
"He was such a quiet boy.....I never would have guessed that he would turn out this way!" or "He was so shy....and never had much luck with the girls!"
Cliche' now that you think about it.
Isn't that what everybody says about the serial killer after they have been caught, or killed?
But it wouldn't be cliche' if there weren't some truth to it.
Mason was a sensitive, caring, emotional, and highly moral young man. The year that his parents sent him to live with his grandmother seemed to be the turning point.
Something soured that spring.
His sensitivity turned detached. His caring nature disappeared. He was still emotional, but rarely showed it. He kept his feelings bundled up in his bowels. Ready to explode at any time. His morals, well you can imagine he wrote his own rules. Marched to his own proverbial drummer.
One small mistake and his life became the hell that he welcomed so lavishly. He didn't want this life. But he was destined to live it. He couldn't change his lot even if he was given the ability to. It wasn't his choice to make.
He pondered these things.
All of it. All the time.
But right now he had the next fire to put out.
The last person to know.
As he approached the customs gate at San Ysidro he smiled.
It wouldn't be very long until it was finished.
Mason Thomas squinted out onto the beach watching the waves ebb and flow and wondered how long it would take for the average 30 year old to drown. If they were unencumbered, say.... without two ten-gallon buckets of hardened concrete affixed to the ankles, it would probably take at least fifteen or twenty minutes. First you pass out from the lack of oxygen. Then your throat and mouth relax just enough to take a big-gulp of salty ocean water. Finally you stop breathing, because you're not a fish...and then you die. The most peaceful way to die, quite possibly.
Mason nodded, with shot glass in hand, threw back the tequila and chased it with a beer. Some crappy mexican beer that was more water than hops. He shook it off, slapped some money on the cabana bar, and walked towards his Jeep.
For a moment he thought of running out into the sea and pulling the poor guy out, but he shook that off as well, hopped into the Jeep and headed north towards San Diego.
He had some business to conduct there as well.
~~~~~~~
Mason Thomas had not always been an evil man.
But the lessons that Grandma Kate "laid into him" on a daily basis didn't seem to stick. Growing up in a rural, religious household in the hill country of Texas did more harm than good, many people would later say.
"He was such a quiet boy.....I never would have guessed that he would turn out this way!" or "He was so shy....and never had much luck with the girls!"
Cliche' now that you think about it.
Isn't that what everybody says about the serial killer after they have been caught, or killed?
But it wouldn't be cliche' if there weren't some truth to it.
Mason was a sensitive, caring, emotional, and highly moral young man. The year that his parents sent him to live with his grandmother seemed to be the turning point.
Something soured that spring.
His sensitivity turned detached. His caring nature disappeared. He was still emotional, but rarely showed it. He kept his feelings bundled up in his bowels. Ready to explode at any time. His morals, well you can imagine he wrote his own rules. Marched to his own proverbial drummer.
One small mistake and his life became the hell that he welcomed so lavishly. He didn't want this life. But he was destined to live it. He couldn't change his lot even if he was given the ability to. It wasn't his choice to make.
He pondered these things.
All of it. All the time.
But right now he had the next fire to put out.
The last person to know.
As he approached the customs gate at San Ysidro he smiled.
It wouldn't be very long until it was finished.
18.2.05
commercial break
I hope that this new venture doesn't freak y'all out.......
I don't know, I just always have these stories bumping around in my brain.
I thought I would spill them out to you.
Be gentle.
I am going to have to count this short commercial break towards my total....
We're having computer issues, and I don't know when I will get back to the story.
I haven't thought of a title....I really haven't thought through the plot.
I am just making it up as I go.
I hope it's worth your while to read and continue to come back for more installments.
Here's to you.......
I don't know, I just always have these stories bumping around in my brain.
I thought I would spill them out to you.
Be gentle.
I am going to have to count this short commercial break towards my total....
We're having computer issues, and I don't know when I will get back to the story.
I haven't thought of a title....I really haven't thought through the plot.
I am just making it up as I go.
I hope it's worth your while to read and continue to come back for more installments.
Here's to you.......
17.2.05
something new.....
Jan. 1, 2005
Nelson knew that he would never step foot on an airplane again after what happened last summer. In fact he became so stalled, immobilized really, by his fear that he couldn't be around people much at all either. His parents decided it was time for him to come home and recuperate. But a 34 year old....going home to his Mommy and Daddy? No....he couldn't do that. He would have to make do with his newfound glitches.
"What do you say we drive up to Big Bear?"
The sound that came from the direction of Erin's mouth didn't sound like her voice. It was encased in a concrete slab of echoes....kind of like the sound you hear when you're about to faint or vomit.
"What? What was that? I didn't hear you...." replied Nelson.
His body convulsed as they walked out of the train station.
Mass transit. He thought. Mass transit. All of it. Buses. Airplanes. Subways. Trains. He couldn't do it.
The airplanes....well, of course, that made sense. But the rest of it. He couldn't believe it. His fear was truly getting the best of him.
"I....I think I need to sit down."
Nelson found a bench and hurriedly sat down. In doing so he made himself more dizzy, ducked his head between his knees, and proceeded to throw up his double-double and chocolate shake.
Erin ran to a nearby coffee stand to get a water for Nelson as he recuperated from the stress-induced nausea. She hurried back with the water and a clean wash cloth - compliments of the vendor. Erin soaked the wash cloth with some water and applied it to the back of Nelson's neck.
Humiliated, but feeling 110% better, Nelson looked up just in time to see a dark blue Ford Expedition halt to a stop just a few feet ahead of him and two men with dark suits and sunglasses jump out of both passenger side doors and walk towards him.
"Excuse me sir, are you Nelson Cooper?"
"Umm.....yeah?" Nelson answered questioningly.
"We hate to bother you..."
What happened next was a flurry of activity, which almost caused Nelson to retch again, that included: flashing badges (FBI); exchanged names (one was Nick, the other John); and a drive "downtown" in the Expedition with Erin in tow.
They went quietly. It never felt like they were in trouble. And that's because they weren't. The only thing that was said, as they took off screeching down the boulevard, was that the "Director" needed to see him.
Dammit, he thought. I'm not ready for that now. Why does he want to see me now. What is so urgent that he would freak out my girlfriend outside of the train station in downtown Los Angeles?
Unless HE was back. That couldn't be it. Could it?
Nelson knew that he would never step foot on an airplane again after what happened last summer. In fact he became so stalled, immobilized really, by his fear that he couldn't be around people much at all either. His parents decided it was time for him to come home and recuperate. But a 34 year old....going home to his Mommy and Daddy? No....he couldn't do that. He would have to make do with his newfound glitches.
"What do you say we drive up to Big Bear?"
The sound that came from the direction of Erin's mouth didn't sound like her voice. It was encased in a concrete slab of echoes....kind of like the sound you hear when you're about to faint or vomit.
"What? What was that? I didn't hear you...." replied Nelson.
His body convulsed as they walked out of the train station.
Mass transit. He thought. Mass transit. All of it. Buses. Airplanes. Subways. Trains. He couldn't do it.
The airplanes....well, of course, that made sense. But the rest of it. He couldn't believe it. His fear was truly getting the best of him.
"I....I think I need to sit down."
Nelson found a bench and hurriedly sat down. In doing so he made himself more dizzy, ducked his head between his knees, and proceeded to throw up his double-double and chocolate shake.
Erin ran to a nearby coffee stand to get a water for Nelson as he recuperated from the stress-induced nausea. She hurried back with the water and a clean wash cloth - compliments of the vendor. Erin soaked the wash cloth with some water and applied it to the back of Nelson's neck.
Humiliated, but feeling 110% better, Nelson looked up just in time to see a dark blue Ford Expedition halt to a stop just a few feet ahead of him and two men with dark suits and sunglasses jump out of both passenger side doors and walk towards him.
"Excuse me sir, are you Nelson Cooper?"
"Umm.....yeah?" Nelson answered questioningly.
"We hate to bother you..."
What happened next was a flurry of activity, which almost caused Nelson to retch again, that included: flashing badges (FBI); exchanged names (one was Nick, the other John); and a drive "downtown" in the Expedition with Erin in tow.
They went quietly. It never felt like they were in trouble. And that's because they weren't. The only thing that was said, as they took off screeching down the boulevard, was that the "Director" needed to see him.
Dammit, he thought. I'm not ready for that now. Why does he want to see me now. What is so urgent that he would freak out my girlfriend outside of the train station in downtown Los Angeles?
Unless HE was back. That couldn't be it. Could it?
15.2.05
What I am listening to right now....
This is the group that I added to my links just the other day.
This is their first full length CD....also their first major release.
Very eclectic....you can hear some country in certain tracks.......favorite has to be Golly Sandra.
Which, coincidentally, was the only track on the album produced by the Artists themselves.
Think early Sixpence (especially the vocals) and Rooney (another fave).
This album kicks!!!!
My friend Adam informed me that they are from Tyler, TX.
He also told me that they are having a CD release party at the Gypsy Tea Room on the 18th.
If you're in Dallas drop by.......
14.2.05
Happy Hallmark Day!!
I don't mean to be cynical.
Really I don't.
I guess I should be lucky to have such a wonderful wife to be able to celebrate this economically-driven holiday with.
I just feel bad for everyone out there that doesn't have that special someone to celebrate with.
I find that now that I am married....that it pretty much comes up in every conversation that I have.
It's always...."My Wife did such-and-such" or "Kristin said the funniest thing...." or just using a lot of us's and we's in conversation seems to be unfair to anyone that doesn't have a we or an us.
I just want everyone to be happy.
And to like me......have I mentioned that?
Anyway......this past Saturday I got my wife her gift for Valentine's Day.
It was too big to try and hide it from her to make it a surprise for today....so I gave it to her then.
I might get some flack for it....so before I tell you what I got her you must know something about my wife.
She is mildly OCD and loves to clean. Well....I don't know if she loves it, but she does love clean things and cleanliness in general is a good thing. It's actually quite amazing that she loves me considering I am pretty much a messy slob. So I don't know if you can see where this is going......but all I can tell you is that she has wanted this particular "cleaning" product for a while now.
Have you heard/seen/used a Dyson Vacuum?
With some sort of "cyclone" technology, that I don't understand, it pretty much is the best vacuum cleaner in the world. I will not mention how much this particular purchase was....let's just say it was not inexpensive.
But that's not the point.
I guess I will wax philosophical for a moment about gift-giving.
I got her this gift because it was something she wanted...AND it would make life a little easier for her. I always tend to give gifts that I can enjoy (to a certain degree) as well.
While I love a clean home....I don't enjoy cleaning.
Kristin does.
A gift is rarely about the giver.
It should always be about the recipient.
That seems obvious, but the next time you give someone a gift be thoughtful.
Don't do the routine gift....the easy purchase....the gift card or the personal check.
Be Thoughtful.
So on this Valentines Day think about the people you love.
Everyone....family and friends included.
Then compile a list of gifts.
Small or large, it doesn't matter....just be thoughtful.
So when Christmas, a birthday, or just a random act of kindness comes upon you....dive in to your list and surprise that someone you love with something that they will love.
Blessings and many romantic nights.......
Really I don't.
I guess I should be lucky to have such a wonderful wife to be able to celebrate this economically-driven holiday with.
I just feel bad for everyone out there that doesn't have that special someone to celebrate with.
I find that now that I am married....that it pretty much comes up in every conversation that I have.
It's always...."My Wife did such-and-such" or "Kristin said the funniest thing...." or just using a lot of us's and we's in conversation seems to be unfair to anyone that doesn't have a we or an us.
I just want everyone to be happy.
And to like me......have I mentioned that?
Anyway......this past Saturday I got my wife her gift for Valentine's Day.
It was too big to try and hide it from her to make it a surprise for today....so I gave it to her then.
I might get some flack for it....so before I tell you what I got her you must know something about my wife.
She is mildly OCD and loves to clean. Well....I don't know if she loves it, but she does love clean things and cleanliness in general is a good thing. It's actually quite amazing that she loves me considering I am pretty much a messy slob. So I don't know if you can see where this is going......but all I can tell you is that she has wanted this particular "cleaning" product for a while now.
Have you heard/seen/used a Dyson Vacuum?
With some sort of "cyclone" technology, that I don't understand, it pretty much is the best vacuum cleaner in the world. I will not mention how much this particular purchase was....let's just say it was not inexpensive.
But that's not the point.
I guess I will wax philosophical for a moment about gift-giving.
I got her this gift because it was something she wanted...AND it would make life a little easier for her. I always tend to give gifts that I can enjoy (to a certain degree) as well.
While I love a clean home....I don't enjoy cleaning.
Kristin does.
A gift is rarely about the giver.
It should always be about the recipient.
That seems obvious, but the next time you give someone a gift be thoughtful.
Don't do the routine gift....the easy purchase....the gift card or the personal check.
Be Thoughtful.
So on this Valentines Day think about the people you love.
Everyone....family and friends included.
Then compile a list of gifts.
Small or large, it doesn't matter....just be thoughtful.
So when Christmas, a birthday, or just a random act of kindness comes upon you....dive in to your list and surprise that someone you love with something that they will love.
Blessings and many romantic nights.......
13.2.05
The Finish Line
Soooo........
This edition might be a little short.
I am exhausted.
Tom, Beth, Kristin and I were superfans to our super athlete friend Jana today.
Here's us all of us at the finish line.
After watching a number of runners finish up at the 26th mile I came to a realization.
I need to accomplish something in my life.
I don't feel like a failure necessarily......but I also don't feel like I've really been successful.
I think I need to taste a bit of victory.
I'm not sure what that's going to entail.
I'll keep you posted.
Keep running!
This edition might be a little short.
I am exhausted.
Tom, Beth, Kristin and I were superfans to our super athlete friend Jana today.
Here's us all of us at the finish line.
After watching a number of runners finish up at the 26th mile I came to a realization.
I need to accomplish something in my life.
I don't feel like a failure necessarily......but I also don't feel like I've really been successful.
I think I need to taste a bit of victory.
I'm not sure what that's going to entail.
I'll keep you posted.
Keep running!
12.2.05
a new day
I made it to the second day!!!!
So......as you can see my three entries for yesterday catches me up to today.
Woke up late today...not as late as I would have liked, somebody was showing the house at 11 am.
Kristin and I went and had a late breakfast with Tom at Harold Waites (Never been??? It's a Waco must....try any of their omelettes...to die for!)
We are getting ready to go down to Austin to provide moral support and a lot of cheer to our friend Jana as she attempts her first Marathon. I think its her first anyway.
We will miss our friends once we move......sometimes I wonder if we are making the right decision.
But I know it's right.
Comfort is a funny thing.
Routine and rut can seem synonymous at times.
The funny thing is that we are not leaving because we hate it here....not really.
I mean I could always get another job......
It's just that it's time for a change.
Phoenix will provide a rebirth of sorts, ironic really.
Our new phase....a new day....
So......as you can see my three entries for yesterday catches me up to today.
Woke up late today...not as late as I would have liked, somebody was showing the house at 11 am.
Kristin and I went and had a late breakfast with Tom at Harold Waites (Never been??? It's a Waco must....try any of their omelettes...to die for!)
We are getting ready to go down to Austin to provide moral support and a lot of cheer to our friend Jana as she attempts her first Marathon. I think its her first anyway.
We will miss our friends once we move......sometimes I wonder if we are making the right decision.
But I know it's right.
Comfort is a funny thing.
Routine and rut can seem synonymous at times.
The funny thing is that we are not leaving because we hate it here....not really.
I mean I could always get another job......
It's just that it's time for a change.
Phoenix will provide a rebirth of sorts, ironic really.
Our new phase....a new day....
11.2.05
New Links
You might have noticed that I have added a couple of new links on the side bar.
The first is in the music section for a band named Eisley.
Very impressive young group of musicians from somewhere here in Texas.....I think.
They toured with Coldplay....pretty cool for some young'uns.
The second link is under the Authors section.
YES!! The Author's Section.
If you have never read Steve Martin's work run out to your local Book Proprietor and buy them.
Pure Drivel is Pure Fun. Short stories that are as hilarious as the man himself.
Shopgirl is a beauty of a novella. Winsome. Edgy. Funny. Provoking.
But my favorite has to be The Pleasure of My Company .
I absolutely loved this book. It was thoughtful and simple.
Martin's storytelling always has an edge to it, satirical mostly, but there is as much heart in this last book as any I've read in a while.
And I read a lot.
Do yourself a favor and pick it up. You won't regret it!
The first is in the music section for a band named Eisley.
Very impressive young group of musicians from somewhere here in Texas.....I think.
They toured with Coldplay....pretty cool for some young'uns.
The second link is under the Authors section.
YES!! The Author's Section.
If you have never read Steve Martin's work run out to your local Book Proprietor and buy them.
Pure Drivel is Pure Fun. Short stories that are as hilarious as the man himself.
Shopgirl is a beauty of a novella. Winsome. Edgy. Funny. Provoking.
But my favorite has to be The Pleasure of My Company .
I absolutely loved this book. It was thoughtful and simple.
Martin's storytelling always has an edge to it, satirical mostly, but there is as much heart in this last book as any I've read in a while.
And I read a lot.
Do yourself a favor and pick it up. You won't regret it!
Praise Habit
I have some incredibly talented friends.
It may seem like name-dropping, kind of like the time I met Ray Charles in DFW. I tell that story, or the one in which I was actually in a voice class with Ben from Growing Pains (his name was Jeremy), to see how people react.
I am weak. And human. I like people to like me.
But that's not what this is about.
Back to my incredibly talented friends. Their names are David, Mike, Mike, Jason, Jeremy and Jack.
Jack is cool when he has his 70's Pimp 'stache in full bloom. But I digress.
They comprise the Rock Oddity known as the David Crowder*Band (I did it the way they do it, unless any of them actually reads this at some time).
They are incredibly talented as musicians, both individually and corporately, but I might consider them more lucky than talented.
Let me explain.
They are not lucky in the sense that they are not good at what they do, nor are they lucky because they have become popular without hard work (i.e. Reuben, Kelly, Clay, Fantasia and any other Reality TV Celebrity).
They are lucky because they get to Praise God with their work.
They make music that delivers souls to the stars.
They travel all around the country (the world is theirs too.....Asians love David Crowder!) and lead hundreds of thousands of people in Worship.
Why can't we all be so lucky?
No...really.
Read Praise Habit. It is a book by one of those incredibly talented and lucky musicians.
Praise is not something we do. It is something we are.
We cannot turn it off or delay it until the appropriate time on Sunday.
It saturates our being and leaves us light-headed and wanting more.
God is available in large doses at all times.
All we must recognize is the pervasiveness of the One Creator God.
Are there truly "God-Forsaken" places?
I don't think so.
Christ came to die on a Cross for everyone, everywhere and every time.
Make Praise your Habit.
It may seem like name-dropping, kind of like the time I met Ray Charles in DFW. I tell that story, or the one in which I was actually in a voice class with Ben from Growing Pains (his name was Jeremy), to see how people react.
I am weak. And human. I like people to like me.
But that's not what this is about.
Back to my incredibly talented friends. Their names are David, Mike, Mike, Jason, Jeremy and Jack.
Jack is cool when he has his 70's Pimp 'stache in full bloom. But I digress.
They comprise the Rock Oddity known as the David Crowder*Band (I did it the way they do it, unless any of them actually reads this at some time).
They are incredibly talented as musicians, both individually and corporately, but I might consider them more lucky than talented.
Let me explain.
They are not lucky in the sense that they are not good at what they do, nor are they lucky because they have become popular without hard work (i.e. Reuben, Kelly, Clay, Fantasia and any other Reality TV Celebrity).
They are lucky because they get to Praise God with their work.
They make music that delivers souls to the stars.
They travel all around the country (the world is theirs too.....Asians love David Crowder!) and lead hundreds of thousands of people in Worship.
Why can't we all be so lucky?
No...really.
Read Praise Habit. It is a book by one of those incredibly talented and lucky musicians.
Praise is not something we do. It is something we are.
We cannot turn it off or delay it until the appropriate time on Sunday.
It saturates our being and leaves us light-headed and wanting more.
God is available in large doses at all times.
All we must recognize is the pervasiveness of the One Creator God.
Are there truly "God-Forsaken" places?
I don't think so.
Christ came to die on a Cross for everyone, everywhere and every time.
Make Praise your Habit.
40 days
Hello friends, neighbors, lovers and saints........
This Lent I am going to take something on rather than give something up.
If I was brave I would give up something that I love....like television.
But since we both know that would never happen.....I've decided on something more creative.
Since my New Year's resolution of writing twice a week did not happen as discussed I have decided to kick the stakes up a notch. SO.....rather than just being lazy and tired (as if I needed an excuse for not completing my New Year's promise) I will now enter the depths of purely pagan activity if I find myself straying from my writing duties.
So I will write......one entry for every forty days of lent. I will be away from my computer on some days, so I will make that up at some other time. One possible reason for not having the computer available is that the wife and I are moving to Arizona!! I have told some friends....and there are some mixed emotions about leaving Waco, but this feels like the right move to make. Other than UBC, and the friends therein, I will not miss Waco.
I might end this update a little early so I can do some brainstorming for some stuff to write for the few days that I have missed thus far......the first one might have to do with Sunsets & Sushi.....until later.
This Lent I am going to take something on rather than give something up.
If I was brave I would give up something that I love....like television.
But since we both know that would never happen.....I've decided on something more creative.
Since my New Year's resolution of writing twice a week did not happen as discussed I have decided to kick the stakes up a notch. SO.....rather than just being lazy and tired (as if I needed an excuse for not completing my New Year's promise) I will now enter the depths of purely pagan activity if I find myself straying from my writing duties.
So I will write......one entry for every forty days of lent. I will be away from my computer on some days, so I will make that up at some other time. One possible reason for not having the computer available is that the wife and I are moving to Arizona!! I have told some friends....and there are some mixed emotions about leaving Waco, but this feels like the right move to make. Other than UBC, and the friends therein, I will not miss Waco.
I might end this update a little early so I can do some brainstorming for some stuff to write for the few days that I have missed thus far......the first one might have to do with Sunsets & Sushi.....until later.
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