Love. Embrace. Live.

To love God is to love people.
Spend some extra time with your family and friends this holiday season.
If you play games, or sing carols, do so in exuberance.
If you cook for your family add a little extra butter or pork fat.
Hug a little longer.........linger, don't be restless.
Enjoy it while you can.

To embrace beauty is to see everything the way that God sees it.
Beauty is truly the measure of a soul.
To see beauty is to be beauty.
A beautiful person is one who loves well.
A beautiful person is one who is well loved.
Beauty can never be reduced to a thing or an it.
True Beauty is derived from The One who was beauty incarnate.

To live life to the full is to never go half-way.
Even anger, rage, and sorrow are necessary once in a while.
For it is in those times that we truly experience the grace and goodness of God.
Living a full life is life without excuses and regrets.
There's always a better option.....so prayerfully consider your steps.
But, if you find yourself down the wrong path, don't let pride get in your way.........
Run, no sprint, back to the place where you belong.

"So this is my prayer:

that your love will flourish and that

you will not only love much but well.

Learn to love appropriately.

You need to use your head and test your feelings

so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush.

Live a lover's life, circumspect and expemplary,

a life Jesus will be proud of:

bountiful in fruits from the soul,

making Jeus Christ attractive to all,

getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God."

Philippians 1 (The Message)

baptism

there is a bottom to my grief

i've been there many times

where the only thing i can do

is look up and see the light

i'm not a porcelain china doll

with a smile plastered to my face

i have experienced enough sorrow

to realize the miracle of grace

the rhythmic ache of my guilt

reminds me of what i am not

not worthy, not happy, not finished

not taking note of what i've got

yet the hope that belies all reason

is the thing to which i hold

not because it's what i'm supposed to feel

nor because it's what i've been told

but rather it's the cause of years

of prayers, and protestations too

of questions unanswered and lives unfinished

the mysteries of life to push through

so, finally, i bid farewell

to the old me and the old you

to all the excuses and secondhand curses

only to be made anew.

Because of You I am made anew.

~mse

By the way....

Howdy-ho neighbors, it's me again!
I meant to say something about some of the new features of the site.
Bravenet has some pretty cool stuff that you can play with....

If you have been to the site and don't mind telling me about yourself (but don't want to post), please sign in on the guestbook. I added it really just to see where everyone is from.

The second thing is that I have added and subtracted some links from the last life of the Blog....if you are a Blogger and you would like me to add you to my Friends Blogs section.....just holla and I will. I have a lot of friends that are doing this now and I don't want to leave anybody out.

Lastly, I have included a photo album on the right that you can check out pics of my family and friends and other fun stuff. (NOTE: If you are shown in any of the pics and would rather not be......please tell me. It's no big deal, I have no problem taking pics off......okay?)

This has become something that I hold very dear.....
it's not just a journal, and sometimes I will post stuff that sounds like I am trying to be smarter than I am.......
I am not trying to do this to impress anybody necessarily, but I do want to become a better writer.....so I covet your feedback.

Blessings.....

It's late......

hello friends.......
it's another late night.
I haven't been to bed before 2am in a very long time.
I don't know what my deal is.
Actually tonight I do.......

Kristin and I went to see one of our favorite bands tonight at the Marquee Theater in Tempe.





Nickel Creek was amazing as usual.....this is the third time for us to see them.
Oddly enough.....it was also the third state that we've seen them in.
The first time was in San Juan Capistrano in Southern California....kind of their home turf (Sara and Sean Watkins are from Carlsbad, CA).
The second time was at Stubb's in Austin.....great Barbecue! If you ever get the chance to go there to see anyone play, do it!
So this third time was here in Phoenix......man, we've moved alot!

Anyway the show was amazing!
The opening act was this guy named Andrew Bird. I had never heard him before but he was flippin' fantastic!!
I realize that I use exclamation points a lot!
Should I stop?
Does it water down the intensity of my excitement if I use it too much?! (okay.....that one was superfluous)

So I had never heard him before and he was really goooooood. It was just him and a drummer. He would play the violin/guitar/glockenspiel and he would whistle (amazing whistler!). He would loop and layer the instruments like Dave does in some of the band's songs like the beginning of Rescue is Coming. It was one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Dave.....I don't know if you read this, but you need to check this guy out. You actually probably already know of him.....but if you don't I think you would love him!

I have to admit with some shame that one of my favorite parts of the evening is when NC covered Toxic.
Yeah.....that Toxic.
They toasted Britney after they finished the song....it was hilarious.
Kristin and I commented on the ride home that they are in some serious need of good music on their bus if all they have is Toxic by Britney Spears......we should send them a copy of A Collision.
I think that they would really like it......really.

Totally off topic now......and it's late.....must sleep

For Art's Sake!

Okay. I just recently had a fun exchange with a couple of guys regarding C.S. Lewis' intention for writing The Chronicles of Narnia. You can find it here. The posts are chronological from the bottom up. Check it out if you'd like. In fact bookmark that site if you've never read it. Cory's a friend and has a lot of great things to say. Check it out.

So on to my main point today that has been needling me ever since I got into that particular exchange on Cory's blog.

Is it right to separate the author from his work to objectify it and use it for evangelistic purposes?
Is it right to take the song away from the songwriter when she wrote it explicitly for another purpose?
Can it be unfair to divide the painting from the painter when it could be used to "advance the kingdom"?

We have to be sophisticated readers/listeners/appreciaters (is that even a word?)....enough to take the art and the artist as a whole and find the good in it. Otherwise it becomes a blunt tool of evangelism that only takes meaning from the Gospel and nothing else.

Don't get me wrong.....there are shades of The Story in every story. I don't doubt that.
What I find horribly offensive is when we take the words and deeds of artists that are clearly not communicating a clear representation of the Gospel and "christianizing" them for mass christian consumption.

When is art just art?

On the posts that I alluded to earlier one comment was made about the Evangelical Church co-opting the Matrix movies to evangelize and communicate the gospel.
Some folks did that, I don't disagree.
But since then I have some reservations about that approach.
If I were to sit down with the Wachowski brothers (creators of The Matrix) I would find that multiple world religions and New Age philosophies went into their writing of the Matrix movies. The rare interviews with the siblings illustrate this fact.

So what should our response be if we are to "bring out the God-flavors and God-colors of the world?" (Matthew 5, thanks Cory)

When Kyle would do his yearly installments of God in the Movies or God in the Music he would make it clear what that exercise was meant to accomplish.
We did not extract christian gospel meaning from High Fidelity or U2.
We pulled out the themes of: love, compassion, greed, anger, trust, patience, on-and-on-and-on-and-on.

From there we could always dive into SCRIPTURE! Yes! For those of you out there that thought that we never broke open the Good Book....how wrong you are!
Kyle would bring to the surface a certain passage of scripture that dealt with the same theme the music/movie was dealing with and asked one important question: What is our response?

It was never about making a non-christian movie a tool of evangelism.
Nor was it about making a "secular" song an aria of christian dogma.

It was about finding the God-flavors in every bite and savoring the goodness of our Lord and Savior.
It was about seeing the God-colors in every palette and appreciating the greatness of our God.

I feel like I could go on about this, but I won't.
Any responses out there?
Am I just splitting hairs here?
Is this all just empty rhetoric?
I don't think so, but I could be wrong.
It's been known to happen.

Light and Dark

I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may - light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful.
~John Constable
There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.
~Sir Francis Bacon

There are things that I am convinced become more beautiful with tragedy.

The splashes of black across an otherwise brilliant array of colors can make something brilliant and beautiful.

We only notice the brilliance because of the infusion of this dark matter.

I don’t know the underlying theological issue here, but it is my guess that we only understand good in light of evil. We only understand joy in light of pain.

We only understand friendship in light of loneliness.

We only understand healing in light of brokenness.

And, to be sure, there is no way around experiencing the negative aspects of light in favor of the positive.

You would be cheating yourself if you didn’t break once in a while.

Because it is then, and only then, do we truly understand what it means to experience grace.

In Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of the Gospel of Mark he writes,

“’Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?’” (Mark 8:37-38 The Message)

This has always been hard for me to understand, because everything that everyone ever told me about being a Christian was all about putting on a happy face regardless of your situation.

Joy was a façade that allowed me to hide the tumult going on inside my gut.

What I’ve come to understand recently is that embracing suffering includes experiencing suffering, and all that it might include.

The kind of sobbing that wracks your body with convulsions.

The kind of grief that leaves you questioning your faith.

The kind of sorrow that leads you to those thoughts of self-loathing that nobody is supposed to share.

With anybody.

Ever.

God is bigger than your despair. That is for sure.

But, rather than clinging onto that truth to escape the despair itself, we should be more like Christ who “because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” (Hebrews 2:18 NIV)

Is this not the lesson of the life of Christ?

Yet we seem to gloss over it every Sunday.

We talk about suffering, but in disaffected tones that seem miles apart from real pain.

Real pain creates a hole in your soul that cannot be filled with a 12 Step Program, or a Bible Study on Wednesday night.

Nor should it.

We embrace our brokenness within a brotherhood of Man that is broken and redeemed at the same time.

True beauty is lived in these shades of dark, weaving in and out of the constant light of Christ, and, surely enough, ends in eternity with the Lord of Everything.

Beautiful

Embrace Beauty


In Kyle's book he references an article by Brian McLaren that I would like to share with you regarding this 1/3 of our modern shema. It goes like this:

I go to a movie. In this movie there are murderers, sex addicts, thieves, and thugs. But even among these desperate and damaged characters, there are moments of tenderness, forgiveness, loyalty, honor, and honesty. As the story unfolds, I look just like everyone else sitting in the theater, eating popcorn and candy, but in my mind I am engaged in a kind of discernment that my movie-watching neighbors are largely oblivious to. Because I have been "set apart" by God's message of truth, I evaluate all I see and hear in the movie by the grid of this understanding. The guy nest to me is thinking, 'Nice body on that woman...cool car...whoa, neat special effect.' But my mind is humming, comparing the action and values pictured in the movie with the message of truth I have come to believe.

While I was in Seminary I took a class on Faith and the Arts. The bulk of the time that was spent in discussion was on this topic of Beauty. You see, to me, it's not as subjective as you may think. You may speak of preference..."I prefer romantic comedy's vs. the next Summer Blockbuster" or "Asian-Fusion cuisine is so 90's....I am more into the authentic Mediterranean spices and sauces" or, more pointedly, "Church Choirs are so OVER!!!! I need a praise band that writes their own music and plays every instrument."

Now.....while I might actually agree with the last sentiment....I would never, NEVER, dismiss an alternative art form to my own preference merely because I don't like it. Do you get where I am going with this?

Like the cheesy songs says, "Everything is beautiful, in it's own way."

The beautifulness (is that even a word?) of something does not depend on our opinion of it. That is merely preference.

Beautiful is God's gift.

Beautiful is everything.

Light and Shadow accentuate and highlight what is beautiful.

Sometimes when everything is illuminated it is difficult to discern the real beauty of something.

It's all so bright and washed with light.

There are nooks and crannies that are in between the dark and the light.

That is where we live.

Craving what is good and beautiful.

Clinging to God's promises.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I just got to thinking........when Kyle would use this as benediction he would say it like this......

"As we approach this week may we Love God, Embrace Beauty, and Live Life to the Fullest."

He never said "Embrace your version of beauty" or "Embrace your opinion...."

It was merely "Embrace Beauty."

I think that the challenge here is similar to the "Love God" issue.

We need to be about seeing the world through Christ's eyes.

Not our own.

When we do that everyone is worthy of love and everything is beautiful.

Let's try to be the people that love.......

Love God

I have been thinking lately about our mantra.
We have always (it seems that way now) said it as a goodbye on Sunday.
Benediction.
But now it has become more.
It's a way to remember, our Ebenezer, if you will.
It has become our shema.

Love God.
Embrace Beauty.
Live Life To The Fullest.

What does it mean?
Love God is so deliciously ambiguous.
It's an action.....but what do you do?
How can you love something you can't wrap your arms around?
Or, how can you love someone that seems to cause so much pain?
I don't know....let's see what the scripture says:

My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God.

Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God.

The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God,

because God is love -- so you can't know him if you don't love.

This is how God showed his love for us:

God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him.

This is the kind of love we are talking about --

not that we once upon a time loved God,

but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins

and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.

My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other.

No one has ever seen God, ever.

But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us,

and his love becomes complete in us -- perfect love!

1 John 4:7-12

So....what does it mean to Love God?

Love his people.

Love your family.

Dote on your wife.

Pamper your husband.

Kiss your kids.

Enjoy a glass of wine with friends.

Smile to a stranger.

Love one another.

Brokenness Part II

One of my earliest posts when I started this over a year ago was written after I lost a professor and mentor of mine to cancer. That loss, while difficult, was easier to deal with than this more recent tragedy of losing my pastor, and friend, Kyle Lake.

After re-reading that post on brokenness I feel obligated to follow it up with additional thoughts.......

Henri Nouwen goes on to say in his book Life of the Beloved that "when people come together they easily focus on their brokenness. The most celebrated musical composition, the most noted painting and sculpture, and the most read books are often direct expressions of the human awareness of brokenness. This awareness is never far beneath the surface of our existence..."

I would have to add one expression of brokenness to Henri's list.

Us.
The skin-on-bones, walk-around-numb, unsure/uncollected/unusually awkward Us.
We are the created art forms of God's expression of love and brokenness.
We are broken because we are human. Not because God made us that way.
We chose to be broken.
When we chose, scratch that, choose ourselves over God we uniformly throw away everything complete, whole and unbroken that we have available to us.
Adam and Eve is not a myth.
It happens every day.
We discard the truth and believe the lies and allow our broken, mangled ways navigate us through life and then, exasperated and annoyed, wonder where God is when we screw things up.
It's a vicious cycle.

refrain: We are the created art forms of God's expression of love and brokenness.

So.......How do we live in this tension of God's grace, love and mercy vs. our brokenness, selfishness and total lack of self-esteem?

I don't know.
Neither do you.
But we try.

Writing Again

I was going through some old papers the other day and came across a Moleskine journal my sister gave to me once, I think as a Birthday gift. They are the coolest little notebooks.....great for the writer on the go.
Anyway, I always cringe when I read some of my old stuff......most of the time I allow it to fall by the way side (procrastination) and when I attempt to pick it up again it has become dated and cheesy and, sometimes, just plain stooopid.

Not this time.
It actually seems appropriate.
Before I begin, let me just say that I don't remember exactly when I wrote this. After a visit to San Diego, obviously.
I actually seem to remember that I was prodded by a friend who had recently had his first book published to begin writing myself. Kyle was instrumental in many parts of my life without even knowing it.

Anyway.......here goes:

The Traveler

or

The Traveler's Guide

or

The Traveler's Guide to Navigating Life

(you choose, whichever one that sounds less pretentious)

Preface

As I write this I am on an airplane careening in a wide curve over the Pacific just west of San Diego. The flight pattern of the airplane is a microcosm of my life. Let me explain. The location of the airport in San Diego, because of its surrounding geography, requires an airplane to take off over the ocean. So even though my final destination is Austin, Texas, I must first go west before turning east. This pattern of going and coming back is a common refrain in this symphony of life.

There is something within the human soul that propels us away from safety.

It stirs our hearts in such a way that we start looking for something better than we have.

This wandering, whether it be from a specific location, job, or significant other, has long been considered a hallmark of restlessness and immaturity. Most people would say that the "wanderer" (read: slacker or bohemian in the 60's) has lost touch with his or her priorities and that they should "settle down."

I disagree.

We have been created to "go."

Matthew 28:19 says, "Therefore, GO (emphasis mine) and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit." (NLT) With this in mind we see the difference between the Bohemian/Slacker mentality and a missional mindset. Do not misunderstand my meaning here. This is not a formula to place yourself in to find your purpose. There are other books for that. This is a way of life.

This is the realization that God is in the going and the coming back. Remember.....God was with the Israelites as they were wandering in the desert. There wasn't a place where God was not with them. The same holds true for us. Regardless of our location, vocation, relationship with our families, co-workers or friends....God remains the same.

So this is a rough guide to navigating life. A scribbling in the sand. It is not a map, nor is it meant to be anything more than the ramblings of a wanderer. This is merely hope to help you on your way.....with many happy returns.

A Part of Me

"I am a part of all that I have met." ~Lord Alfred Tennyson

I have been getting posts/notes/e-mails from folks that I haven't heard from in quite some time. It's nice to hear from old friends. Now only if I can become more determined/disciplined to keep up communication and be a better friend.

Sometimes I get too insulated in my own life.
I forget that the friendships that I have forged along the way leave lasting marks.
Not that I am that impressionable.
(That's my attempt at making a self-deprecating remark.....I am way too obnoxious to be forgotten)

Anyway.....if there is anything that I have learned in the last week and a half.....it's who my friends are.
They are the ones that I cried with on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday (we did a lot of crying).
They are the ones that I partook of some billiards and beer with......at 3 O'Clock in the pm no less!!
They are the ones that I think to take lunch to when they're sick. (For I am normally not that thoughtful!)
They are the ones to tell me what I need to do when I don't know what to do.....Thanks.
They are the ones that pray for me when I don't pray for myself.

I thank all of you......you are all a part of me, and I you.
I love you all and can't wait to be Home........

A Tale of Two Cashes

I am the one on the left......if you were wondering.
This is my dog Cash, as in Johnny.
We anxiously await the new Johnny Cash biopic Walk The Line

Check it out......we can't wait.

something new

In light of what has happened I have laid aside all of my foolish habits of laziness and procrastination. Well, we'll see if it sticks. I have to be honest with myself.

That's been the issue lately.
Honesty.

Like my friend Adam said on his blog....
I lost my friend, my pastor, my spiritual mentor, and my rabbi.
I should have been there last week.
Not because I could have done anything for him.....nothing would have changed.
But that Church, my Church, needed all the love and help and support they needed and I wasn't there. I got there as fast as I could, but I wasn't there.

I need to be honest with myself.
I have been running.
Not away from God, I don't think.
But in circles.
And when Kyle passed something snapped inside.
I can't remember a single excuse that I ever made to not be in the ministry.
Whether or not that ever becomes my vocation....God only knows(Beach Boys lyric, not my personal theology speaking)
I just know that there is only one place in the world where my wife and I want to be right now.....and that's Waco, TX.

Imagine that.

sleepy

Hey guys........
thought I would write today, but I couldn't muster up enough energy to continue the story......I am still pondering a title for it, any ideas?

Work was strange today.
A bit "out of body" if I was to try to describe it.
I felt like crap all day and it doesn't help that I am now answering to somebody I trained who has no common sense.....frustrating at the least.
Leo?
Are you out there?
I understand now!

Anyway......off my chest!

I am so looking forward to moving to Phoenix.
As I was daydreaming the other day about it something occured to me.
The places we inhabit inform and shape our personalities, spiritualities and realities.
Seems obvious right?
I just think about how I grew up in the lazy Californian sun....and I realize what it means to be a Californian. Laid-back. Easy. Thoughtful. Adventurous.

My time in Texas has passed by slowly. Almost ten years in the Lone Star State and I think I understand what it means to be a Texan. Independent. Confident. Brash.

So now I look ahead to Arizona.
I wonder what the state will do to me.
I eagerly anticipate the person I will become.
Knowing full well that my previous haunts not only create the foundation for what happens next, but also, unforgivingly, hold me tight....never letting go.

Blessings on your way.....

after these messages....

Okay....so I'm no John Grisham.

I don't know. I am having fun. It may seem dark, but I think that there is something truthful going on here.

As I ponder a title........

how does good turn bad?
how does Spring (symbolic of new life) sour?
what mistakes have we made that could turn our lives upside down?


think of these things....

something new.....part 2

Later that day.....somewhere south of Tijuana, Mexico

Mason Thomas squinted out onto the beach watching the waves ebb and flow and wondered how long it would take for the average 30 year old to drown. If they were unencumbered, say.... without two ten-gallon buckets of hardened concrete affixed to the ankles, it would probably take at least fifteen or twenty minutes. First you pass out from the lack of oxygen. Then your throat and mouth relax just enough to take a big-gulp of salty ocean water. Finally you stop breathing, because you're not a fish...and then you die. The most peaceful way to die, quite possibly.

Mason nodded, with shot glass in hand, threw back the tequila and chased it with a beer. Some crappy mexican beer that was more water than hops. He shook it off, slapped some money on the cabana bar, and walked towards his Jeep.

For a moment he thought of running out into the sea and pulling the poor guy out, but he shook that off as well, hopped into the Jeep and headed north towards San Diego.

He had some business to conduct there as well.

~~~~~~~

Mason Thomas had not always been an evil man.

But the lessons that Grandma Kate "laid into him" on a daily basis didn't seem to stick. Growing up in a rural, religious household in the hill country of Texas did more harm than good, many people would later say.

"He was such a quiet boy.....I never would have guessed that he would turn out this way!" or "He was so shy....and never had much luck with the girls!"

Cliche' now that you think about it.

Isn't that what everybody says about the serial killer after they have been caught, or killed?

But it wouldn't be cliche' if there weren't some truth to it.

Mason was a sensitive, caring, emotional, and highly moral young man. The year that his parents sent him to live with his grandmother seemed to be the turning point.

Something soured that spring.

His sensitivity turned detached. His caring nature disappeared. He was still emotional, but rarely showed it. He kept his feelings bundled up in his bowels. Ready to explode at any time. His morals, well you can imagine he wrote his own rules. Marched to his own proverbial drummer.

One small mistake and his life became the hell that he welcomed so lavishly. He didn't want this life. But he was destined to live it. He couldn't change his lot even if he was given the ability to. It wasn't his choice to make.

He pondered these things.

All of it. All the time.

But right now he had the next fire to put out.
The last person to know.
As he approached the customs gate at San Ysidro he smiled.
It wouldn't be very long until it was finished.

commercial break

I hope that this new venture doesn't freak y'all out.......
I don't know, I just always have these stories bumping around in my brain.
I thought I would spill them out to you.
Be gentle.

I am going to have to count this short commercial break towards my total....
We're having computer issues, and I don't know when I will get back to the story.
I haven't thought of a title....I really haven't thought through the plot.
I am just making it up as I go.
I hope it's worth your while to read and continue to come back for more installments.

Here's to you.......

something new.....

Jan. 1, 2005

Nelson knew that he would never step foot on an airplane again after what happened last summer. In fact he became so stalled, immobilized really, by his fear that he couldn't be around people much at all either. His parents decided it was time for him to come home and recuperate. But a 34 year old....going home to his Mommy and Daddy? No....he couldn't do that. He would have to make do with his newfound glitches.

"What do you say we drive up to Big Bear?"

The sound that came from the direction of Erin's mouth didn't sound like her voice. It was encased in a concrete slab of echoes....kind of like the sound you hear when you're about to faint or vomit.

"What? What was that? I didn't hear you...." replied Nelson.

His body convulsed as they walked out of the train station.
Mass transit. He thought. Mass transit. All of it. Buses. Airplanes. Subways. Trains. He couldn't do it.
The airplanes....well, of course, that made sense. But the rest of it. He couldn't believe it. His fear was truly getting the best of him.

"I....I think I need to sit down."

Nelson found a bench and hurriedly sat down. In doing so he made himself more dizzy, ducked his head between his knees, and proceeded to throw up his double-double and chocolate shake.

Erin ran to a nearby coffee stand to get a water for Nelson as he recuperated from the stress-induced nausea. She hurried back with the water and a clean wash cloth - compliments of the vendor. Erin soaked the wash cloth with some water and applied it to the back of Nelson's neck.

Humiliated, but feeling 110% better, Nelson looked up just in time to see a dark blue Ford Expedition halt to a stop just a few feet ahead of him and two men with dark suits and sunglasses jump out of both passenger side doors and walk towards him.

"Excuse me sir, are you Nelson Cooper?"

"Umm.....yeah?" Nelson answered questioningly.

"We hate to bother you..."

What happened next was a flurry of activity, which almost caused Nelson to retch again, that included: flashing badges (FBI); exchanged names (one was Nick, the other John); and a drive "downtown" in the Expedition with Erin in tow.

They went quietly. It never felt like they were in trouble. And that's because they weren't. The only thing that was said, as they took off screeching down the boulevard, was that the "Director" needed to see him.

Dammit, he thought. I'm not ready for that now. Why does he want to see me now. What is so urgent that he would freak out my girlfriend outside of the train station in downtown Los Angeles?

Unless HE was back. That couldn't be it. Could it?

What I am listening to right now....

This is the group that I added to my links just the other day.
This is their first full length CD....also their first major release.
Very eclectic....you can hear some country in certain tracks.......favorite has to be Golly Sandra.
Which, coincidentally, was the only track on the album produced by the Artists themselves.

Think early Sixpence (especially the vocals) and Rooney (another fave).
This album kicks!!!!
My friend Adam informed me that they are from Tyler, TX.
He also told me that they are having a CD release party at the Gypsy Tea Room on the 18th.
If you're in Dallas drop by.......

Happy Hallmark Day!!

I don't mean to be cynical.
Really I don't.
I guess I should be lucky to have such a wonderful wife to be able to celebrate this economically-driven holiday with.
I just feel bad for everyone out there that doesn't have that special someone to celebrate with.
I find that now that I am married....that it pretty much comes up in every conversation that I have.
It's always...."My Wife did such-and-such" or "Kristin said the funniest thing...." or just using a lot of us's and we's in conversation seems to be unfair to anyone that doesn't have a we or an us.
I just want everyone to be happy.
And to like me......have I mentioned that?


Anyway......this past Saturday I got my wife her gift for Valentine's Day.
It was too big to try and hide it from her to make it a surprise for today....so I gave it to her then.
I might get some flack for it....so before I tell you what I got her you must know something about my wife.

She is mildly OCD and loves to clean. Well....I don't know if she loves it, but she does love clean things and cleanliness in general is a good thing. It's actually quite amazing that she loves me considering I am pretty much a messy slob. So I don't know if you can see where this is going......but all I can tell you is that she has wanted this particular "cleaning" product for a while now.

Have you heard/seen/used a Dyson Vacuum?
With some sort of "cyclone" technology, that I don't understand, it pretty much is the best vacuum cleaner in the world. I will not mention how much this particular purchase was....let's just say it was not inexpensive.

But that's not the point.
I guess I will wax philosophical for a moment about gift-giving.
I got her this gift because it was something she wanted...AND it would make life a little easier for her. I always tend to give gifts that I can enjoy (to a certain degree) as well.
While I love a clean home....I don't enjoy cleaning.
Kristin does.
A gift is rarely about the giver.
It should always be about the recipient.
That seems obvious, but the next time you give someone a gift be thoughtful.
Don't do the routine gift....the easy purchase....the gift card or the personal check.
Be Thoughtful.

So on this Valentines Day think about the people you love.
Everyone....family and friends included.
Then compile a list of gifts.
Small or large, it doesn't matter....just be thoughtful.
So when Christmas, a birthday, or just a random act of kindness comes upon you....dive in to your list and surprise that someone you love with something that they will love.

Blessings and many romantic nights.......

The Finish Line

Soooo........

This edition might be a little short.
I am exhausted.
Tom, Beth, Kristin and I were superfans to our super athlete friend Jana today.
Here's us all of us at the finish line.

After watching a number of runners finish up at the 26th mile I came to a realization.
I need to accomplish something in my life.
I don't feel like a failure necessarily......but I also don't feel like I've really been successful.
I think I need to taste a bit of victory.
I'm not sure what that's going to entail.
I'll keep you posted.
Keep running!

a new day

I made it to the second day!!!!
So......as you can see my three entries for yesterday catches me up to today.

Woke up late today...not as late as I would have liked, somebody was showing the house at 11 am.
Kristin and I went and had a late breakfast with Tom at Harold Waites (Never been??? It's a Waco must....try any of their omelettes...to die for!)
We are getting ready to go down to Austin to provide moral support and a lot of cheer to our friend Jana as she attempts her first Marathon. I think its her first anyway.

We will miss our friends once we move......sometimes I wonder if we are making the right decision.

But I know it's right.
Comfort is a funny thing.
Routine and rut can seem synonymous at times.
The funny thing is that we are not leaving because we hate it here....not really.
I mean I could always get another job......
It's just that it's time for a change.

Phoenix will provide a rebirth of sorts, ironic really.
Our new phase....a new day....

New Links

You might have noticed that I have added a couple of new links on the side bar.
The first is in the music section for a band named Eisley.
Very impressive young group of musicians from somewhere here in Texas.....I think.
They toured with Coldplay....pretty cool for some young'uns.

The second link is under the Authors section.
YES!! The Author's Section.

If you have never read Steve Martin's work run out to your local Book Proprietor and buy them.
Pure Drivel is Pure Fun. Short stories that are as hilarious as the man himself.
Shopgirl is a beauty of a novella. Winsome. Edgy. Funny. Provoking.

But my favorite has to be The Pleasure of My Company .
I absolutely loved this book. It was thoughtful and simple.
Martin's storytelling always has an edge to it, satirical mostly, but there is as much heart in this last book as any I've read in a while.

And I read a lot.

Do yourself a favor and pick it up. You won't regret it!

Praise Habit

I have some incredibly talented friends.

It may seem like name-dropping, kind of like the time I met Ray Charles in DFW. I tell that story, or the one in which I was actually in a voice class with Ben from Growing Pains (his name was Jeremy), to see how people react.

I am weak. And human. I like people to like me.

But that's not what this is about.

Back to my incredibly talented friends. Their names are David, Mike, Mike, Jason, Jeremy and Jack.

Jack is cool when he has his 70's Pimp 'stache in full bloom. But I digress.

They comprise the Rock Oddity known as the David Crowder*Band (I did it the way they do it, unless any of them actually reads this at some time).

They are incredibly talented as musicians, both individually and corporately, but I might consider them more lucky than talented.

Let me explain.

They are not lucky in the sense that they are not good at what they do, nor are they lucky because they have become popular without hard work (i.e. Reuben, Kelly, Clay, Fantasia and any other Reality TV Celebrity).

They are lucky because they get to Praise God with their work.
They make music that delivers souls to the stars.
They travel all around the country (the world is theirs too.....Asians love David Crowder!) and lead hundreds of thousands of people in Worship.

Why can't we all be so lucky?
No...really.

Read Praise Habit. It is a book by one of those incredibly talented and lucky musicians.

Praise is not something we do. It is something we are.
We cannot turn it off or delay it until the appropriate time on Sunday.
It saturates our being and leaves us light-headed and wanting more.
God is available in large doses at all times.
All we must recognize is the pervasiveness of the One Creator God.

Are there truly "God-Forsaken" places?
I don't think so.
Christ came to die on a Cross for everyone, everywhere and every time.

Make Praise your Habit.

40 days

Hello friends, neighbors, lovers and saints........

This Lent I am going to take something on rather than give something up.

If I was brave I would give up something that I love....like television.

But since we both know that would never happen.....I've decided on something more creative.

Since my New Year's resolution of writing twice a week did not happen as discussed I have decided to kick the stakes up a notch. SO.....rather than just being lazy and tired (as if I needed an excuse for not completing my New Year's promise) I will now enter the depths of purely pagan activity if I find myself straying from my writing duties.

So I will write......one entry for every forty days of lent. I will be away from my computer on some days, so I will make that up at some other time. One possible reason for not having the computer available is that the wife and I are moving to Arizona!! I have told some friends....and there are some mixed emotions about leaving Waco, but this feels like the right move to make. Other than UBC, and the friends therein, I will not miss Waco.

I might end this update a little early so I can do some brainstorming for some stuff to write for the few days that I have missed thus far......the first one might have to do with Sunsets & Sushi.....until later.

Livin' Large

I don't know why I do this.

I get all pumped up about the Blog and then proceed to go more than a month without writing.

Well.....this is it!!
I am making my first resolution of the new year (everyone knows the losing-weight-exercise-more resolution won't make it to February).
I am going to make a point to write at least twice a week.
I'm not going to do it on the same days every week (too much pressure), but I will promise to do it.

Finally saw Garden State.
I loved it.....Kristin did not.
I think she was expecting more of a laugh-out-loud riot fest.
It's just not that kind of movie.

Sometimes I feel like Large. (the character in GS not the size)
I feel like I am too even keel.
There are no exhilarating highs or depressing lows.
It's just me in the middle.
Ironically enough I just looked at the title of my Blog.....pretty telling isn't it?
I'm not medicated, in fact I've always thought that my level-headedness was a good attribute.
It's not that I want to always be flying off the handle or something....that's not it at all.

Part of it is training.
I have taught myself to not get too pumped up for things, because you'll just be disappointed in the end.
I might share more about that soon.
Lot's to tell....and plenty time to share it.
Talk to you soon......maybe tomorrow.